In a shocking twist of events, local man, Bob Smith, has discovered that according to the meal serving suggestion on the back of his favorite frozen dinner, he is actually a family of 4.
“I’ve always felt like I was meant to be part of something bigger,” said Smith. “And it turns out that thing was a wildly unrealistic meal portion size, cooked up by a company trying to get away with hiding the amount of fat and salt in their standard serving suggestion.”
The news comes off the back of allegations of widespread shrinkflation across the packaged food industry, with McCain insisting their family Lasagna had always been 3cm square when removed from the box.
“We never said the picture was real!” explained one representative for the company. “See, right there in the corner it says ‘product may not match picture’ in size 2 font? How could you miss that?”
Bob’s parents have said they are proud of him, stating that they had always told him it was time to settle down and start a family.
“Sure it’s difficult to get used to the they/them pronouns,” they explained. “but we love him all the same.”
“Fuck, sorry, love THEM. God I suck at this.”