Local homeworker Jeff Barker has today expressed sadness that he will be unable to spend two of the four days of the easter long weekend sitting in bumper to bumper traffic as he tries to travel up the coast for a relaxing holiday.

“I was really looking forward to spending some relaxing time with my husband and kids,” explained Jeff. “You know, by forcing them all to sit with me in a cramped space for 16 hours as one of them begs me to pull over to find a toilet and the rest silently resent me from keeping them from enjoying their free time. But now instead we’re forced to sit at home entertaining each other, binge watching Netflix, playing board games, ordering takeaway, and generally vegging out. This is not what the easter long weekend is supposed to be!”

To make up for the difference, Jeff has set up a makeshift speed-camera in his living room using a discarded camera flash and some tripwire. “Now every time I’m absentmindedly wandering through the house I can pretend I’ve accidentally ruined our entire vacation by copping a fine for travelling too fast, and then simmering over the fact for the next three days. This is what Easter is all about. Well that and Jesus turning eggs into chocolate or … something along those lines.”