In a shocking turn of events, Google has announced its plans to launch a drone strike on a man who signed in to his Gmail account on an unauthorised device.
“We take security seriously at Google, and this blatant breach of our terms of service will not be tolerated,” said a Google cocking a rifle. “We hope this serves as a warning to all those who dare to log in to their Google accounts on devices that haven’t been specifically approved by us. Google doesn’t sleep.”
The man at the centre of the controversy has reportedly been hiding out in his basement for the past few days, afraid of what the Google drone might do to him. “I just wanted to check my email,” explained the man, as he frantically tried to dodge an incoming ninja star. “I never thought it would come to this.”
Many are calling Google’s decision to launch a drone strike over a simple login on an unauthorized device excessive, but the company remains unapologetic. “We’re just doing our part to keep the internet safe and secure,” the Google spokesperson said. “We hope this serves as a lesson to all those who think they can use your friends’ laptop to check your email.”