Formerly alive Cardinal George Pell has today reported his surprise at the rather drab nature of the afterlife.
“It’s a little different to how I pictured it but I’m sure this is where I’m meant to be!” he shouted over the lake of screaming souls. “After all, my convictions were overturned.”
Cardinal Pell was contacted by Peta Credlin’s new program ‘Sky News After Life’ where conservative men can continue to share their opinions, despite being cancelled by God and his woke agenda.
The Cardinal reported to be in good spirits. “I love the warm weather and everyone’s been really lovely. They even tell me I’ve been nominated for a senior position due to past experience!” he exclaimed. “How’s that for a first day.”
When questioned if he may be in a different location to heaven, Pell dismissed the notion, stating “This has to be heaven, so many of my colleagues are here!”
“I must admit I am a little surprised Jeffrey Epstein is here given the circumstances of his death,” he continued, “but it’s nice to see a familiar face.”