The state of Perth has fallen to the insidious insurgence of Dictator Dan today, after the state declared a complete communist overthrow under the guise of a short 3 day lockdown.
“Ha ha! You all thought I was crippled in a hospital with a serious back injury, but that was just a ruse!” said Dan via the emergency broadcast system today. “Now I will force you all into subservience with my competent governing and people-first health policies, which was my secret devious plan all along!”
Terrified citizens of Perth have flocked to the street in panic, letting off confetti and fireworks in a presumed show of terror. “Oh good, I love Dan,” said one clearly brainwashed victim. “Whatever we can do to keep this virus under control.”
If you enjoyed this article, consider becoming a contributor to the Chaser Beer Fund. For just $7 a month you can help us employ 20 more interns.
