Christian distances self from God after learning he aborted only son

Local Conservative Christian Barry Joyson has today condemned God, after learning he impregnated a brown refugee woman outside of marriage, only to abort his son years later.

“How I support this guy?” said Barry as he leafed through the bible. “I mean, all this woke stuff he spouts about feeding the poor and loving everyone is bad enough. Typical virtue signalling nonsense, but now I find out God’s also a bigamist and complicit in a murder? It’s too much. This guy obviously doesn’t stand for Christian values.”

When asked what exactly Christian values were then, Barry explained it was simply traditional values. “Obviously Christianity is all about calling trans people pedophiles,” said Barry. “I don’t know why they left that bit out of the bible. Also covering up and enabling child abuse is also a very important part of Christianity too. Just don’t do it while wearing makeup.”

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