Channel Nine shocked to learn nation’s most prominent white supremacist might be a bit racist

The Channel 9 Network has today announced that they will no longer be inviting One Nation senator Pauline Hanson to regularly broadcast her opinions to millions, after learning that the nation’s most famous white supremacist is a bit racist.

“Unfortunately there is no way we could have seen this coming,” explained the head of programming at Nine. “When we invited a woman who has built her entire career around the single issue of race baiting onto our show, we assumed that she would be providing light hearted breakfast TV commentary about news events. We never for a second imagined that this racist politician might use this platform to make racist political statements. We are all shocked and disappointed in this completely unforseeable development.”

The hosts of the show agree, stating that this outburst was entirely out of character for the woman who was sacked by the Liberal party in 1996 for being too racist, and who has consistently and publicly vilified migrants, aboriginals, and ethnic minorities at every given opportunity since. “Gosh, I always thought she was a lovely woman, never heard anyone say a single bad thing about her,” exclaimed Today host Karl Stefanovic. “Could it be that I and my colleagues in the Australian media exist in a bubble in which white people who are unaffected by Ms Hanson’s words almost exclusively dominate the roles both on and off screen, despite almost 30% of Australia’s population not being white, and this has skewed our understanding of the world so badly that we don’t even see an issue with promoting the views of a hoodless Klan member to our unquestioning fans and viewers? No that would be stupid, anyway here’s Richard Spencer with a weather update.”


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