Prices for Car City carpets have shot through the roof today, after auctions across the country saw the novelty play mats scooped up for thousands above reserve as desperate millennials attempt to get a foot on any property ladder they can find.
However, reports are coming in that young couples have already been priced out of the Car City market, after investors swooped in and bought up the country’s supply, hoping to subdivide the carpets to attract tax breaks for their losses.
The news comes as bad news for young couples, who are now facing a reality where they now can’t even afford to live in a 2D representation of a functioning society. “I don’t understand,” said one economist, scratching his head. “Avocados are so cheap these days, why are young people still not buying houses? It’s almost as if there’s some kind of large, unaddressed, systemic problem that needs to be tackled by governments and that can’t simply be fixed by demanding young people stop eating. How weird.”
However, not everyone is convinced that Car City carpets selling for $200,000 is a problem, with many existing owners pointing out it was easy to buy one when they were young. “Kids these days don’t realise how easy they have it,” said one carpetlord today. “Why when I was young we didn’t even have car themed carpets. All we had was housing that you could afford on a single income, and you didn’t hear me complaining.”
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