Non-acting Prime Minister of Australia and man who criticised a police commissioner for eating dinner during bushfires nine years ago has today popped out of the country for three weeks to get a break from all the annoying non-quiet Australians who keep asking him to do something about the fact that half the country is on fire.
“It’s clearly a bad judgement call,” said a time travelling Scott Morrison back in 2010 when informed about the actions of his future self. “I think there are some very serious concerns in the community about exercising judgement.”
Asked whether he would be criticising the Prime Minister for his actions during the fire, opposition leader Anthony Albanese said that the nation should “look over there” before sprinting across the room and jumping through a closed glass window.
However, the Prime Minister has hit back at any suggestions that his actions were on par with those of Police Commissioner Christine Nixon – pointing out that she had sat down to eat some food, while all he had done was shirk his responsibilities for the last month and then disappeared overseas for weeks without informing anyone ahead of time. “Unlike Christine, I’ll be showing my empathy with those suffering from the fires,” said Morrison, “In fact, I won’t even be eating any food while I’m here, it will be entirely liquid lunches for me for the next three weeks. Bottoms up!”