Scott Morrison has today apologise to attendees at a local church, after getting his speech cards mixed up with his government’s policy notes. Telling the amassed crowd that they should “rely on God instead of governments” Morrison then went on to apologise, stating that he had accidentally started reading his 2020 speech to bushfire victims.

“Governments aren’t going to help you, and we should all stop waiting for someone else to give us a hand up,” continued Morrison, “wait no that’s my apology to flood victims.”

“Wait I think I’ve got the right one ‘Only the allmighty powerful one has the right to direct the people of Australia, and no government should stand in his way’,” Morrison said to applause. “Wait bugger it, that’s my speech for Rupert Murdoch’s birthday, I give up.”