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Weirdo without social media wastes another day living blissfully in the moment

Police are warning the public to be on the lookout for a strange individual, who has been spotted wasting yet another day living in the moment and enjoying life without the constant distractions of social media. Witnesses report that the deranged individual, who remains unidentified, was seen reading a book, going for a walk, and even talking to other human beings face-to-face instead of engaging them in an argument online after misinterpreting their statement.

This bizarre behavior raises concerns about the individual’s mental health and overall well-being, as it is well-known that social media is essential to function in modern life. Experts warn that this kind of reckless abandonment of social media could lead to an increase of self-worth, validation, and an inability to be slowly radicalised into believing Hillary Clinton keeps children locked up in the basement of a pizza shop.

But despite these dire warnings, the weirdo without social media seems content with his strange, outdated lifestyle. In fact, he was even seen smiling and laughing, which is extremely concerning.

“What’s wrong with him?” asked one concerned witness. “Doesn’t he know everything is terrible and the world is ending?”

It is unclear how long this individual can continue living in such a dystopian, social media-free world, but experts predict at the current rate of decay, the man will likely outlive most social media sites anyway.

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