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Unpaid Muffin Break intern aspiring to one day reach the rank of “guy that wipes down tables for $18 an hour”

Unpaid muffin break intern and part time ungrateful millenial Janette Miller has today taken a moment out of her day to reflect on how lucky she is, after realising how few people are given the opportunity to sell muffins from a small shopping mall kiosk for literally no money or benefits.

Having joined the muffin chain shortly out of school, Janette says she had to fight tooth and nail in order to get even a foot in the door in the competitive muffin retail industry, and she was just happy to be able to make some good connections and possibly work her way up the chain. “You know it’s such a competitive industry and I may never get a break like this again,” explained Janette this afternoon, while emptying the bins, “sure the work isn’t exactly glamorous, but working for no pay will be all worth it if I manage to some day work my way up to the role of ‘person who is paid to wipe down tables after customer leaves’. That’s the dream.”

Muffin break franchise owner and part time tax cheat Erin Moore agrees Janette is very lucky to have scored the role, having turned down hundreds of other aspiring muffin enthusiasts before awarding Janette the job. “We can’t all be muffin sellers,” explained Erin, “but I saw something in Janette, and when she told me she has a masters in economics under her belt, I figured I might as well give her a shot. Who knows, maybe if she plays her cards right, she may even one day work her way up to sub regional manager, where she could be making upwards of $30,000 a year before taxes.”

Asked why she chose to work for free at a largely un-promotable job at a time where millenials were facing increasing financial pressure due to a combination of housing costs, insurance increases and stagnating wages, Janette said the job was more about just money. “You know, I just think it’s a noble cause. If I wasn’t here, serving muffins to elderly retirees so a large corporation can make vast profits from my labor, then who would? Well, a paid employee I guess, but who knows if someone with sick leave and holiday entitlements would ever take this job seriously enough to do it properly.”



Caz Smith
WRITTEN BY

twitter: @cams_myth

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