Queen of 12 Nation States and single ready to mingle Elizabeth “Queen” Windsor, has today quietly inquired with grandson Prince Harry about “that Tinder app one’s been hearing a lot about.”

Standing in the hallway in a cocktail dress, stating that she’s “just stepping out to the dance halls for a few hours” her majesty was extremely disappointed to learn that swing bars have not existed since 1930, and was instead forced to try a new form of dating for the first time in 60 years.

“Does one think ‘self employed mother’ or ‘Queen of the realm’ is a more sexy profession?” the Queen was heard to ask a nearby butler as she made her way through the Tinder setup page. “Hmm, for a picture I think I’ll go with the 1958 postage stamp. I like the lighting in that one.”

“Oh look, I already have a message, let me see ‘are you DTF?’, well I guess technically I do control the Duchy of Thames and Foundland – I will tell him yes.”