Australians have stood by in awe this week, as the prophecy of the man from the maths textbook who buys items in bulk loads of 400 was finally fulfilled. Seen walking across a local Woolworths supermarket with a trolley of 200 rolls of toilet paper in one hand, and a trolley of 600 oranges in the other, passers by frantically snapped pictures in the hope that they might be able to score some royalties from future textbook publications.

“That’ll be exactly $5849.30,” said the girl at the till as she rung up his 157 watermelons. “Wait no, $6249.35… or $7031? Dammit, I’ve always been terrible at long division.”

“If only I carried some kind of tiny computer around in my pocket at all times that could help me do maths in day to day situations. But alas, my high school maths teacher told me I’d never have such a magical device, and had to memorise everything by rote.”

Update: English teachers have since explained that the man purchasing 600 oranges was actually a metaphor, with the number 600 oranges representing the large number of times English teachers read way more into a book than a writer implied.