General News
“Loud carriage” to be trialed on trains for the dickheads who want to blast music on loudspeaker

Train passengers rejoiced today after the announcement of a ‘loud carriage’ trial where all the dickheads who play music through a loudspeaker will be forced to sit together.

Transport authorities hope this move could bring comfort to those passengers who are somewhat decent human beings and understand that not everyone wants to spend their few hours of free time every day listening to 30 second TikTok snippets via the guy 3 seats over.

“Don’t think of this as a carriage you can go to if you want a different experience,” said a representative, “think of it more as a punishment for being too dense to show the decency of investing in some $12 earphones.”

“While many called for the death penalty, we thought this would make for a good compromise.”

The trial did receive some pushback from the dickhead community, who complained that the carriage was so loud that they couldn’t hear their music, however that is being described by all other passengers as “no huge loss”.


Share this story: