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Local Wiggles fan misses Hottest 100 win due to new job driving forklifts

Site managers at the new West Mall construction site were forced to deploy emergency pacifiers and warm milk today, after their new crack team of forklift drivers learned that they had missed the Wiggles playing their favorite song on the radio. “It’s not fair!” wailed Jimmy, aged 5, as he welded together a load bearing support beam. “This is even worse than last week when I missed Sesame Street while I was busy coming up with the government’s new Covid strategy.”

Smoking his way through a pack of Winnie Blues, Jeremy, aged 7 was similarly disappointed. “These kinds of workplace conditions, where we’re forced to work past 3pm and miss Play School, are completely unacceptable,” he explained to his site manager, Cooper, aged 9. “If things don’t turn around here soon I’m going to call in the union representative, just as soon as he’s finished his nap.”

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However, the government have hit back at calls for the country’s working children to unionise, explaining that providing toddlers with breaks or overtime would be far too damaging to the economy. “What’s next, some kind of government funded programme where kids can just hang around all day and paint pretty pictures or play games?” scoffed Scott Morrison. “No, children should be down the mines working to keep the economy strong. Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve just finished 2 hours work and I think I deserve a holiday.”




The Chaser