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Local driver would rather die than let you merge

In a groundbreaking study, scientists have this week confirmed that other drivers are jerks who are intentionally cutting you off just to annoy you.

“It’s true, we found that a significant number of drivers are just plain mean,” said the lead scientist on the study on the way to work. “Just massive pricks. Complete and utter douchebags. I mean, look, he has so much space in front, but he chose to sit directly beside me even though I HAD THE INDICATOR ON FOR A WHOLE MINUTE I MEAN COME ON MAN, WHAT THE HELL.”

The study also found that these malicious drivers tend to exhibit other reckless behaviors on the road, such as tailgating, speeding, and choosing to drive a Tesla.

However, study participants have hit back at these claims. “I don’t know what everyone’s complaining about, I never see anyone being irresponsible on the road,” texted one driver. “If anything, the real idiot is the person that decided to put all these children and a basketball court in the middle of the road.”

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