Local woman Alice Smith has spent her afternoon looking up retirement homes today, after writing off her entire morning fighting a hangover caused by two standard drinks over the weekend.

Smith has spent the day grappling with the idea that maybe she is too old for partying after spending the previous night getting ‘wild’ with a glass of white, proving ‘30s are the new 20s’ by going dancing while repeatedly saying, “see I’m not too old for this” before heading home by midnight due to her aching knees.

“Let’s all get rowdy!” Smith was heard telling the three friends she still has time to stay in contact with alongside a fulltime job. “Wait, not in this room though, I just got the carpet steam cleaned. Lets all party on over to the back deck to find some comfortable chairs.”

On the brightside for Smith, many experts say that retirement homes are the most secure living spaces available to people in their 30s, given the current market, and if they start saving now they might actually be able to afford a retirement home by the time they retire.