Two time former Prime Minister and part time sauce bottle shaker Kevin Rudd has today thrown a curveball into the election by challenging Bill Shorten for the Labor leadership at the very last minute.
“G’day folks, it’s me Kevin and I’m here to help!” said Kevin at today’s Labor party room meeting to a round of groans. “Thought I’d zip in and throw my hat into the ring, just in case anyone hadn’t had enough of me as leader.”
Asked whether this was just a cynical attempt to cash in on Labor’s near certain electoral victory today, Kevin was taken aback. “What? There’s an election on? I hadn’t heard! Oh silly me, but I guess I can’t uncall this leadership spill now, guess we’ll just have to wait and see what the result is.”
Upon hearing that he hadn’t won a single vote in the spill Kevin was unperterbed. “Well that’s a shame, but not to worry! I hear there’s another major party that’s about to need a new leader in a few hours, and I hear Peter Dutton is already lining up another challenge, which means pretty much anyone but him could win. So if you’ll excuse me I’ve got a Liberal party membership induction to attend. Gotta zip!”