Emergency responders have been called to a local coffee shop today, following reports to emergency services that a woman had become trapped in an endless cycle of saying goodbye. Witnesses say the woman, identified only as Jennifer, was seen falling into an unending loop of saying the word ‘goodbye’ to a vague acquaintance, and was looking increasingly frail after being trapped there for hours.

The emergency team, consisting of highly trained specialists in the field of goodbye-rescue, was quickly deployed to the scene. Upon arriving, they assessed the situation and determined that the only way to free Jennifer from the endless goodbye was to use a specialized tool known as the ‘urgent phonecall’, only to discover to their horror that her phone was on silent and they were unable to reach her.

One member of the team, who had previous experience with this type of situation, attempted to break the cycle by saying “hello” instead. This seemed to work at first, as the woman responded with a confused “hello”.

However, as soon as the emergency team member turned to leave, the woman was forced to say goodbye, trapping the team member along with the other two victims.

After carefully maneuvering a goodbye cutter into position, the team was able to successfully wrench Jennifer free, by slowly sliding a door between her and the perpetrator, loosening her from its grip until she could make her escape.

Jennifer was taken to a nearby hospital for evaluation and was released later that day. She was expected to make a full recovery until one of the releasing doctors accidentally said goodbye.