General News
Dutton vindicated after African gang terrorises Sydney streets

Federal Opposition leader Peter Dutton has today done a lap of victory in parliament after his predictions of African gangs terrorising streets finally came true. “See I told you all this would happen if we started banning hate crimes!” smiled Dutton. “Now if anyone needs the legislation to deport all Africans to an island prison I just so happen to have a pre-written bill in my pocket at all times in case of emergencies.”

However only minutes later Dutton was forced to retract his previous statement, after being informed the African gang was in fact a large group of cats from a local zoo. “Look yes I may have been a bit too hasty on the ‘deport anyone who isn’t white’ thing but you can never be too careful,” shrugged Dutton. “Better to deport everyone and be safe, than to allow innocent people to walk free and be sorry, that’s what I always say.”

Asked what he thinks should be done about the lions roaming Mosman streets, Dutton explained the solution was simple. “Do what I do with every cat,” he explained. “Just fill a hessian sack with them and chuck em in the river. My favorite weekend passtime.”


Share this story: