Federal Energy Minister and leader of the Angus Taylor fan club, Angus Taylor, has today announced a return to the government’s projected surplus, after the minster signed off on a deal to sell the contents of the newly re-filled Warragamba Dam to a mysterious Cayman Islands company named ‘Angus Taylor Holdings’.
While some in the media have criticised the selling of Sydney’s entire water supply as ‘short sighted’, the voting has applauded the move, with the policy being praised as a “Great move” on Angus’s page by local facebook user Angus Taylor.
“I’m glad to report that the government stands to make hundreds, if not thousands of dollars from this deal over the next ten years,” announced Angus during question time today. “As you will see in this financial document I have just doctored up, there are many, many zeros on the end of the number of dollars we stand to make. Please disregard the fact that they are clearly written comic-sans.”
Asked whether it was legal for Angus Taylor to sell off Sydney’s water supply to himself via an offshore holding company, the Australian Federal Police said they would look into it, before returning a finding that it was all perfectly legal just three seconds later. “We see nothing worth pursuing in this corrupt selling off of an essential public service to line an individual minister’s pockets,” explained the AFP in a press statement. “As far as we can tell, it is a perfectly normal and very cool thing to do. Fantastic. Great move. Well done Angus.”
The Anti-Expert’s Guide to Everything – 2020 National Tour
Tickets ON SALE NOW