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Banned on Facebook, Laurie Oakes forced to drop explosive political update on OnlyFans

Australia’s greatest lovemachine Laurie Oakes has today dropped a steamy update on the federal deficit, in his latest explosive exposé exclusive to OnlyFans. The former political journalists, turned lingerie model, was forced to re-invent his social media image this week following a ban on Facebook of all news related content.

“At first I was a bit worried,” the 77 year old told fellow OnlyFans model Peter Van Onselen during a shirtless inteview for Channel 10’s new 10pm news stream on PornHub. “But it turns out I’m a natural on OnlyFans. I’ve already got a million subscribers, and everyone keeps telling me to ‘drop em’ which I assume means my latest political scoop.”

Informed that Facebook has agreed to re-introduce news content on their platform, Oakes said he won’t be going back. “I can’t think of a better place than OnlyFans to report on how fucked this nation’s politics are,” explained Oakes. “Plus, at least all the cocks on here aren’t sitting in parliament.”


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