Grown men with real lives and jobs and cars were thrown into fits of anger today, after discovering their beloved TV show about the sarcastic time-traveling space detective would now feature a strange new alien creature called a “woman”. Describing the new addition to the popular children’s show about a Scottish-accented alien who drives around in a phonebooth as “sacrilege”, fans have declared it will completely ruin the credibility of the story that has previously featured a snarky robot dog that shot lazers from its head.
“It’s completely unheard of,” said one fan who was found out on the street gasping for air. “Except I guess for the last season of the show where the Master transformed into a woman, and the audio drama spinoffs may have featured a female Doctor, and sure they might have been heavy handedly setting up the whole thing for years now, but I mean… come on! Are we seriously supposed to believe a humanoid space alien who constantly changes everything about their appearance every few seasons could suddenly change their appearance!? What do these idiots take their fans for? They’re treating us like it’s a show for ten year olds!”
When asked whether they even liked the show, fans were incredulous, stating “Of course not, but that’s besides the point. When I tune into the show every week in order to get new material to complain online about how it’s getting stale and repetitive, I do so in the sound knowledge that the writing will be below my unreasonable expectations, and that no attempts will be made to change the stale and reptitive formula in which an immortal white male space alien does things which ultimately have no impact or bearing on the wider plot of the franchise for fear of stifling the ability of the BBC to churn out another 50 seasons of this merchandising cashcow.”
“If they’re going to introduce a woman, what’s next? Character development? M rated storylines? Consequences for a character who doesn’t die or seemingly remember things past a few years? God help us. You might as well just cast Idris Elba and be done with it.”