Scientists have released a new report today warning that the earth will reach an unstoppable tipping point of clown movies by the year 2030, if action is not taken to address the problem now.
“By our calculation, by 2025, there will have been at least 3 new Joker movies, and two new IT movies released. By 2030, if our model is correct, every single movie will involve an evil clown killing people in some way, unless we act now.”
But the threat is not just from the movies alone, with scientists also concerned about the effect this will have on regular everyday people who are forced to recon with the overwhelming tide of dickheads trying to method act their role as the Joker. “As the number of Joker movies reaches critical point, we’re afraid Los Angeles will be completely overrun by aging male actors trying to rejuvenate their career by acting like a sociopath in public for eight months in order to prepare for their five minutes on screen as the Joker. God help us if they don’t soon learn you can actually just act in a movie and then go home at night and be a normal human being, and still win an Oscar.”
Concern has also spread into the documentary realm, where surprise hit Wrinkles The Clown and an upcoming documentary about John Wayne Gacy has signaled the evil clown pandemic may not just be limited to fictional movies. “Our models didn’t predict the evil clown subject to make the jump into documentaries until at least 2020, after all those Donald Trump impeachment re-enactments kick off,” said one scientist, “Oh god, this is really going to make me look like a clown.”
The Anti-Expert’s Guide to Everything – 2020 National Tour
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