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Government launch inquiry to determine just how innocent Bridget McKenzie is
"We will get to the bottom of this"
Albanese assures Labor faithful that he won’t let government’s recent mishaps stop him from losing next election
Nation nervously wonders what nightmare universe is planning to unleash today
BREAKING: Australian government repeals gay marriage in attempt to stop natural disasters
Nation savours single facemask free day between smoke and coronavirus outbreak
Sad day: Eggboy has finally hatched
Scott Morrison’s “I stopped the boats” trophy revoked
Government begs Australians to taper their prayers for rain
Local News
Failed suicide bomber jailed: placed on suicide watch
Melbourne man visits Sydney just to point out its flaws
God dismisses gambling-related prayer
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World News
US Senate votes to impeach Joe Biden
NASA to replace all scientists with Greg from Facebook who has a degree in COMMON SENSE
Queen pronounces grandson ‘the Harry formerly known as Prince’
Queen’s Christmas message tactfully tip-toes around whole child-trafficking thing
Dyslexic child stays up on Christmas Eve waiting for Satan
Trump spotted in fake moustache and sombrero fleeing to Mexico following impeachment
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Shovel Politics
Who Is Going To Ensure We Don’t Have Sex With Animals, Now That Cory Bernardi Has Retired?
“Grants Were Allocated Fairly”, Bridget McKenzie Says From Her Personal, Custom-Built Gymnasium And Swimming Complex 
Greens’ Opposition To Controlled Storms To Blame For Canberra Hailstorm, Government Claims
Bushfire Relief For Marginal Electorates Only, Government Says
Bridget McKenzie Announces New 100,000 Seat Stadium For Launceston
Craig Kelly Disputes Claim That Smoke Will Do Lap Of Earth, Reminding NASA That Earth Is Flat
Real Estate
Minister who forgot about buying house luckily still remembered to negatively gear it
Sultan of Brunei flaunts wealth by purchasing room in decrepit Sydney sharehouse
UN called in to resolve washing-up stalemate
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