Text Size

1985 Peter Garrett goes back to the future to prevent 2009 Peter Garrett

091105garrett350
Garrett's expansion of uranium mining will help power future time-travelling DeLoreans

Warned of the future demise of his environmental credentials by a wild-eyed Greens Senator in a converted-hybrid DeLorean, the 1985 Peter Garrett has traversed the space-time continuum to stop his future self abandoning his environmental principles.

"I don't know how my life goes so off-track in the future, but apparently one future incident causes a chain reaction that threatens my entire credibility," he told the fellow members of Midnight Oil before his departure for 2009. "The only clue I have to this mysterious event is the word 'Latham'."

Garrett was originally aiming for 2004, but a time-circuit malfunction left him powerless to prevent his future self endorsing the continued operation of Pine Gap. 1985-Garrett travelled to Canberra to confront himself, but his impassioned speech about conservation failed to move the Minister For The Environment, Heritage And The Arts.

Desperate, the younger Garrett broke out the big guns. "I pulled out a cassette deck and played him 'The Power And The Passion'," 1985-Garrett explained. "He was nodding along and I thought I had him convinced. But then he said it'd be a great tune to use in an ad talking up the new Gorgon natural gas project."

"Then as I left, he even had the hide to tell me to tone down my dancing, because the Libs were still getting mileage out of it."

Stung by the news that the Nuclear Disarmament Party that nearly elected him to the Senate in 1984 would fail to make a lasting impression on Australian politics, Garrett returned disappointedly to 1985, vowing to write a song about mining and asbestos victims, to inspire his future self to stay true to the eco-cause.

But what most shocked the 1985 Garrett was the revelation that his 2009 self presided over the expansion of Australia's uranium mining programme. "I know I would never sell out like that," he said. "Even if I needed to generate 1.21 gigawatts to travel back to 1955 and stop John Howard entering politics."

In related news, 2009-Garrett has recently announced plans to travel to 1987 and destroy the master recording of 'Sell My Soul'.

This article is from The Chaser Annual 2009. You can order a signed copy here.

82 Comments

Feed
  1. More and more people began to collect jordan shoes , If you are Michael Jordan fans, you must have collection air jordans . If you want to buy the cheap jordan shoes,you can search the internet.Jordan is the hero of every individual mind. Of course, we are also very like the air jordan shoes , So you will like the air jordans,you will found the shoes make you become more and more beautiful.
  2. More and more people began to collect jordan shoes , If you are Michael Jordan fans, you must have collection air jordans . If you want to buy the cheap jordan shoes,you can search the internet.Jordan is the hero of every individual mind. Of course, we are also very like the air jordan shoes , So you will like the air jordans,you will found the shoes make you become more and more beautiful.
  3. There are many blade soul online gold shops where you can buy blade soul gold.
  4. China Wholesale China Wholesale
    Wholesale Game Accessories Wholesale Game Accessories
    Wholesale Iphone Accessories Wholesale Iphone Accessories
    Video Game Accessories Wholesale Video Game Accessories Wholesale
    Wholesale Wii Accessories Wholesale Wii Accessories
    Wholesale Xbox 360 Accessories Wholesale Xbox 360 Accessories
  5. juicy couture velour wallets
    juicy leather wallets
    juicy shoulder wallets
  6. I agree with you and tell you something usefully sale messages if you like speaker[/url,weclome to our [url=www.sinospeaker.com/]speaker factory,our speaker manufacturer products include speaker wholesale,hi-fi speaker,jbl speaker,loudspeaker and our laser engraver factory products include engraving machine,laser cutting machine,cnc router,cutting machinelaser engraving machine,so hope these message will help you.
  7. The variety of coach handbags are so many that it almost becomes difficult to choose the right one. Well the coach handbag outlet is one that is certainly unique and different. discount christian louboutin. MBT shoes sale
    MBT trainers shoes. handbags blog.
  8. Gamers ought to know Metin2 Yang if they really like to play this game. All gamers want to buy Metin2 Yang or buy cheap Metin2 Yang to promote their character level easily, more Metin2 money they own, more items they can buy in game. While we provide you cheap Metin2 Yang, surely you can get them at cheap prices. I think you must like Metin2 gold if you are really a gamer.
  9. The newest version of cheap air max are available now.Welcome to see our special air max 90 and Air Max 360.They are your must-have air max.Nike Air Max 360
    Nike Air Max 2003
    Nike Air Max 89
    Nike Air Max 90
    Nike Air Max 91
    Nike Air Max 95
    Nike Air Max 97
  10. The newest version of cheap air max are available now.Welcome to see our special air max 90 and Air Max 360.They are your must-have air max.Nike Air Max 360
    Nike Air Max 2003
    Nike Air Max 89
    Nike Air Max 90
    Nike Air Max 91
    Nike Air Max 95
    Nike Air Max 97
  11. The newest version of cheap air max are available now.Welcome to see our special air max 90 and Air Max 360.They are your must-have air max.Nike Air Max 360
    Nike Air Max 2003
    Nike Air Max 89
    Nike Air Max 90
    Nike Air Max 91
    Nike Air Max 95
    Nike Air Max 97

Add Comment

Israel bombed: suspect of Middle Eastern appearance

Latest Events

Chaser store

Follow The Chaser on...

Facebook Twitter