Local man Richard Sawyer is hoping that his agonising hangover will be a good enough excuse for others to avoid social interaction with him for the day, after he spent the night before on a relatively large drinking bender. Sawyer commented on the situation saying ” I basically look like I’ve smoked half an ounce of weed, but really I have the hydration levels that a small African child wouldn’t even be envious of, man I wish I got stoned last night instead of drinking.”
Mr Sawyer talked to reporters today with only a pair of pyjama pants on and sported a distinct smell of bourbon, stale cigarettes and what he is hoping is not urine. Sawyer commented on his clearly unwell state suggesting that “the worse I look, the less people will try and talk to me, or talk near me, or even just stand in my general vicinity, because all I can take today is the warm soothing tones of Kochie on weekend sunrise.”
However Mr Sawyer is plenty used to the exact scenario he is in, commenting, ” Usually I just go down to the local shops and buy a Gatorade, some Hydralyte and an iced coffee, but that’s for when I need to work and deal with people. Today I’ll just deal with it the lazy way, plenty of TV, a couch and a box of Jatz, hopefully I’ll look worse than a homeless man in the city, and people will ignore me just as much as people ignore them.”
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