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Gay man agrees some of his best friends are homophobic

A suburban homosexual has conceded that many of his best friends have a deep aversion to his sexuality.

SYDNEY, Thursday: A suburban homosexual has conceded that many of his best friends have a deep aversion to his sexuality.
“They seem to think that having me a friend is proof they don’t have a problem with gays,” said Murray Sarsfield, 32. “Whenever the question of homosexuality’s raised, they always start by telling people we’re mates. But then they go off on these extended anti-gay rants. It’s quite uncomfortable actually.”

“I’ve got a lot of time for Murray at a personal level,” says friend Shaun Wilkinson, “but because of my faith I regard his sexuality as a moral abomination against the order of nature and the word of God. So it can be a bit awkward”.

Friend Jason Waddell doesn’t see what the problem is. “I like Murray too,” he says, “We played footy together and he’s a good bloke. But I don’t see why gay people have to flaunt their lifestyle like they do. You can hardly walk down Oxford St these days without seeing guys holding hands and kissing. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. But it’s pretty disgusting.”

Sarsfield objects to his friends saying that some of their best friends are gay. “I’m the only gay person they know,” he says. “I think they realise it’d sound a bit dicky if they said, ‘One of my best friends is gay, but … ‘ So they make it sound like there’s more of us. I suppose to be fair, I think one of our other friends, Paul, is gay too. I mean ten years without a proper girlfriend. You have to wonder. But he hasn’t come out yet. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s pathetically spineless, but some of my best friends are like that.”

Waddell and Wilkinson maintain they’re not “homophobic” and reject Sarsfield’s claims that their friendship with him is tokenistic. Georgina Wilson, their new dyslexic transsexual Islamic asylum-seeking friend, agrees.

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