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Chopper Read launches stage career: breaks a leg before every show

[Edition 71] “There’s a lot of audience participation in our show,” Read said. “We always particularly enjoy the part where we get the audience to hand over all their money or we put their boots up their own asses.”


“And of course, there’s no shortage of punch lines.”

Chopper, like Energiser spokesman Jacko, is an expert in battery

[Edition 71] SYDNEY: Mark ‘Chopper’ Read revealed today the secret to his fledgling stage career: a routine of breaking at least one leg before each performance.

The murderer-turned entertainer declared the pre-show violence is what set his show with Mark ‘Jacko’ Jackson apart.

“We don’t just assault your eyes and ears like other RSL-circuit acts,” he boasted. “We’re offering a full-body assault.”

“It all started one day after our show received a particularly bad review,” explained Read.

“From the moment I threw the reviewer off a building the reviews improved immeasurably. It seems murderous violence is my good luck charm.”

“You need a lot of good luck in this game. Especially when your on-stage partner is Jacko.”

Jacko and Chopper have pioneered a new artform which they dub ‘stand-over comedy’.

“There’s a lot of audience participation in our show,” Read said. “We always particularly enjoy the part where we get the audience to hand over all their money or we put their boots up their own asses.”

“And of course, there’s no shortage of punch lines.”

“It’s a real win-win situation,” said Jackson. “Not only do our practices lead to a much more memorable experience for the audience, but since the show is actually about Chopper’s victims, each show creates lots of great material for the future.”

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